Now you can own a bed that'll protect you from the following:

Bio-chemical terrorist attack
Natural disaster
Kidnappers/Stalkers

It's advertised as the safest rest you've ever had. It'll even protect you from tornados, hurricanes, earthquakes, and floods... and even comes with the option to hook up televisions, microwaves, fridge, cell phones, etc., etc. blah blah blah.

This is the stupidest thing I've seen all week.