קָטֹ֜נְתִּי מִכֹּ֤ל הַחֲסָדִים֙ וּמִכׇּל־הָ֣אֱמֶ֔ת אֲשֶׁ֥ר עָשִׂ֖יתָ אֶת־עַבְדֶּ֑ךָ כִּ֣י בְמַקְלִ֗י עָבַ֙רְתִּי֙ אֶת־הַיַּרְדֵּ֣ן הַזֶּ֔ה וְעַתָּ֥ה הָיִ֖יתִי לִשְׁנֵ֥י מַחֲנֽוֹת׃
I am unworthy of all the kindness that You have so steadfastly shown Your servant: with my staff alone I crossed this Jordan, and now I have become two camps.
Genesis 32:11 (12) (The Contemporary Torah, JPS 2006)
The very first time we encounter the religious concept of “I’m not worthy” in the Scriptures isn’t through a story of a man cowering before a powerful and fearful God.
No. The first time we see it is when Jacob declares that he has not earned God’s kindness. This word “kindness” is the Hebrew word “hesed,” which is God’s mercy and kindness and favor. This is Jacob’s realization that God LOVES him. Truly loves him. Not in a fleeting emotional way, but in a faithful committed way.