Love and Hatred

“I have loved you,” says the Lord.
But you say, “How have You loved us?”
“Was Esau not Jacob’s brother?” declares the Lord. “Yet I have loved Jacob; but I have hated Esau, and I have made his mountains a desolation and given his inheritance to the jackals of the wilderness.”
Malachi 1:2-3 (NASB)

In Malachi 1, (and later in Romans), there’s this perplexing passage about God “hating” Esau, the brother of Jacob.

We wrestle with this text, because we are forced to ask: “am I Jacob in this passage? Or am I Esau? What does God think of me?”

The answer seems to matter, as the notion of being “hated by God” is heavy. It’s an impossible burden.

But perhaps we have a clue about the deeper meaning in Genesis 29.

Three times before we get to Jacob’s feelings about Leah, the text tells us that Jacob LOVED Rachel. We know he loves her.

Now the Lord saw that Leah was [a]unloved, and He opened her womb, but Rachel was unable to have children.
Genesis 29:31 (NASB)

[a] Lit hated

But when we get to Leah, it doesn’t merely tell us that Leah was “unloved.” In Hebrew, it says she was HATED.

It’s in this place of hatred that God opened Leah’s womb so she could be… fruitful. Blessed. So she could live out her purpose of mothering of the nation of God’s people. She is the mother of Judah, from which Salvation enters the world.

So when the text tells us that Esau is hated… perhaps we are meant to remember Leah.

Though hatred brings us to a place of desolation and barrenness, perhaps God is telling us about redemption. About healing.

Perhaps God will make all things new.

Laban’s Many Daughters

Bilhah & Zilpah: maidservants of Rachel & Leah. What’s their story? How did Laban posses them, to give them to his daughters as wedding gifts?

The text doesn’t say, but Jewish tradition holds that they are Laban’s daughters w/ a second wife.

If it’s true, it appears that Laban pawned off ALL his daughters onto Jacob.

The Word “Love”

וַיֶּאֱהַ֥ב יַעֲקֹ֖ב אֶת־רָחֵ֑ל וַיֹּ֗אמֶר אֶֽעֱבׇדְךָ֙ שֶׁ֣בַע שָׁנִ֔ים בְּרָחֵ֥ל בִּתְּךָ֖ הַקְּטַנָּֽה׃

Jacob loved Rachel; so he answered, “I will serve you seven years for your younger daughter Rachel.”
Genesis 29:18 (The Contemporary Torah, JPS 2006)

Don’t get caught up with this word “love.”

The first two times the word shows up in Genesis, it’s about the love a father has for his son, and the love a man has for his wife.

The next four times it shows up, it’s about how much Isaac loves venison.

When we read that Jacob “loves” Rachel, we don’t need to assume that this is a reflection of the love God has for us.

Beauty and Work

Leah and Rachel are described as different in appearance. Earlier, the text had contrasted Jacob and Esau also on the basis of their respective occupations (25:27, where yoshev ohalim seems to mean “raising livestock”; compare 4:20).
The Torah; A Woman’s Commentary on Genesis 29:17

It is fascinating that the Genesis narrative of “two brothers and two sisters” tells us so much about… us.

While I don’t think *everyone* is inherently sexist and view the value of women in terms of appearance and men in terms of occupation, perhaps as a society, we do.

Prior to the fall, value isn’t assigned to occupation and beauty. There was one job for humanity, and all of creation was good. It was all beautiful.

In Genesis 6, the “sons of God saw that the daughters of man were Tov,” and we get a glimpse of the powerful being drawn to women and seizing them for themselves. This is echoed in Genesis 12, and even louder in Esther.

Somehow, a woman gets defined by her appearance. This appears to be a result of the fall.

But a man’s “value” is also be seen a result of the fall. The cursed ground becomes unfruitful, and the work is in vain. Yet we labor and labor, looking for worth.

My Jewish friends have a saying: “Torah is not our book about God. It is God’s book about us.”

In it, we should see ourselves. What happens when we value beauty over character? Or equate work with worth? When we take advantage of weakness? The text shows us. We must learn.

Free Labor

Many say Jacob is a deceiver, and that he is outdone by Laban, the greater deceiver.

I don’t think so. I think he is being taken advantage of because he doesn’t understand things.

In Genesis 29, Laban gets a month of free labor from Jacob and learns he can get even more.

וַיֹּ֤אמֶר לוֹ֙ לָבָ֔ן אַ֛ךְ עַצְמִ֥י וּבְשָׂרִ֖י אָ֑תָּה וַיֵּ֥שֶׁב עִמּ֖וֹ חֹ֥דֶשׁ יָמִֽים׃
וַיֹּ֤אמֶר לָבָן֙ לְיַעֲקֹ֔ב הֲכִי־אָחִ֣י אַ֔תָּה וַעֲבַדְתַּ֖נִי חִנָּ֑ם הַגִּ֥ידָה לִּ֖י מַה־מַּשְׂכֻּרְתֶּֽךָ׃

and Laban said to him, “You are truly my bone and flesh.” When he had stayed with him a month’s time, Laban said to Jacob, “Just because you are a kinsman, should you serve me for nothing? Tell me, what shall your wages be?”
Genesis 29:14-15 (The Contemporary Torah, JPS 2006)

Bones and Flesh

וַיֹּ֘אמֶר֮ הָֽאָדָם֒ זֹ֣את הַפַּ֗עַם עֶ֚צֶם מֵֽעֲצָמַ֔י וּבָשָׂ֖ר מִבְּשָׂרִ֑י לְזֹאת֙ יִקָּרֵ֣א אִשָּׁ֔ה כִּ֥י מֵאִ֖ישׁ לֻֽקְחָה־זֹּֽאת׃

Then the Human said,
“This one at last
Is bone of my bones
And flesh of my flesh.

This one shall be called Woman,
For from a Human was she taken.”
Genesis 2:29 (The Contemporary Torah, JPS 2006)

When Laban uses similar words to identify his relationship to Jacob in Genesis 29, we notice a striking difference.

וַיֹּ֤אמֶר לוֹ֙ לָבָ֔ן אַ֛ךְ עַצְמִ֥י וּבְשָׂרִ֖י אָ֑תָּה וַיֵּ֥שֶׁב עִמּ֖וֹ חֹ֥דֶשׁ יָמִֽים׃

and Laban said to him, “You are truly my bone and flesh.” When he had stayed with him a month’s time,
Genesis 29:14 (The Contemporary Torah, JPS 2006)

Laban is not indicating oneness or equality with Jacob. The language he uses shows a hierarchy. He sees Jacob as inferior. Jacob is someone to possess and use.

Rolling Away the Stone

וַיֹּ֥אמֶר לָהֶ֖ם הֲשָׁל֣וֹם ל֑וֹ וַיֹּאמְר֣וּ שָׁל֔וֹם וְהִנֵּה֙ רָחֵ֣ל בִּתּ֔וֹ בָּאָ֖ה עִם־הַצֹּֽאן׃
וַיֹּ֗אמֶר הֵ֥ן עוֹד֙ הַיּ֣וֹם גָּד֔וֹל לֹא־עֵ֖ת הֵאָסֵ֣ף הַמִּקְנֶ֑ה הַשְׁק֥וּ הַצֹּ֖אן וּלְכ֥וּ רְעֽוּ׃

He continued, “Is he well?” They answered, “Yes, he is; and there is his daughter Rachel, coming with the flock.
He said, “It is still broad daylight, too early to round up the animals; water the flock and take them to pasture.
Genesis 29:6-7 (The Contemporary Torah, JPS 2006)

When Rachel is introduced, we read that she is tending Laban’s flock. She is presented to us in contrast to the hired hand shepherds whom Jacob rebukes for the way they are managing the sheep.

וַיֹּאמְרוּ֮ לֹ֣א נוּכַל֒ עַ֣ד אֲשֶׁ֤ר יֵאָֽסְפוּ֙ כׇּל־הָ֣עֲדָרִ֔ים וְגָֽלְלוּ֙ אֶת־הָאֶ֔בֶן מֵעַ֖ל פִּ֣י הַבְּאֵ֑ר וְהִשְׁקִ֖ינוּ הַצֹּֽאן׃

But they said, “We cannot, until all the flocks are rounded up; then the stone is rolled off the mouth of the well and we water the sheep.”
Genesis 29:8 (The Contemporary Torah, JPS 2006)

The hired hands tell Jacob that they actually cannot water the sheep. According to the rabbis, the stone over the well is too heavy, and requires more people to move it. They must wait for more people to arrive to help.

וַיְהִ֡י כַּאֲשֶׁר֩ רָאָ֨ה יַעֲקֹ֜ב אֶת־רָחֵ֗ל בַּת־לָבָן֙ אֲחִ֣י אִמּ֔וֹ וְאֶת־צֹ֥אן לָבָ֖ן אֲחִ֣י אִמּ֑וֹ וַיִּגַּ֣שׁ יַעֲקֹ֗ב וַיָּ֤גֶל אֶת־הָאֶ֙בֶן֙ מֵעַל֙ פִּ֣י הַבְּאֵ֔ר וַיַּ֕שְׁקְ אֶת־צֹ֥אן לָבָ֖ן אֲחִ֥י אִמּֽוֹ׃

And when Jacob saw Rachel, the daughter of his uncle Laban, and the flock of his uncle Laban, Jacob went up and rolled the stone off the mouth of the well, and watered the flock of his uncle Laban.
Genesis 29:10 (The Contemporary Torah, JPS 2006)

Rachel, being a young woman, would be of little help, so what we see in v10 might be viewed as a miraculous “rolling away of the stone.” Jacob is motivated by a need to tend to the sheep and to demonstrate strength to Rachel.

Jacob heaving this heavy stone away from the well is the same act as Rebekah watering all of Eliezer’s camels earlier in Genesis.

Genesis 29:10 is an echo of Genesis 24:19.

This is an image of righteousness. Perhaps, the Empty Tomb of the Gospels can be called a Well of Living Water.

Are you Well?

וַיֹּ֥אמֶר לָהֶ֖ם הֲשָׁל֣וֹם ל֑וֹ וַיֹּאמְר֣וּ שָׁל֔וֹם וְהִנֵּה֙ רָחֵ֣ל בִּתּ֔וֹ בָּאָ֖ה עִם־הַצֹּֽאן׃

He continued, “Is he well?” They answered, “Yes, he is; and there is his daughter Rachel, coming with the flock.”
Genesis 29:6 (The Contemporary Torah, JPS 2006)

When Jacob inquires about Laban, he isn’t merely asking about the man’s health. The word here is שָׁלוֹם. Shalom.

“Is he shalom?”

This is a profound question. It asks not merely about the physical well-being, but about the spiritual as well. It asks about wholeness.